Happy 2009.

Another "new" year means a chance to revitalize some endeavors from last year I didn't get to...do some things differently this year, take risks, change my perspective....yadda yadda yadda...but what does this all REALLY mean? It seems like folks get all excited for the new year, and then after January it doesn't really matter anymore. Not to say I don't fall into the trap of making wishy washy resolutions (because I do) but I have found that sometimes it takes me that entire year to focus on something that I want to accomplish and then do it. It's interesting because I have always been in school, and so most of my resolutions would be about getting super stupid focus and taking risks in that nature but I just graduated with my Masters in December. So now technically I don't have the school resolutions to fall back on which means I need to really think of what I want to do (outside of the box)  and follow through with it. Sounds good right? Well...I'm finding that it's a lot more complicated than that. There are sooooo many things that I want to do and accomplish, I just don't know where to start. And is it really a resolution, if your motivations and mindset stay the same? Generally speaking, I'm very goal oriented and hard working, strong work ethic blah blah blah so I tend to be consistent when it comes to "doing" things I say I want to accomplish....

man I don't know why this is so hard to figure out. Maybe that can be a resolution. Maybe I need to stop thinking about things so critically and just DO them. That would be taking a risk. I need more GOOD risks in my life. And now that I feel like I'm starting my life over from scratch, transitioning from school to the work force.... maybe that won't be such a bad thing.

Hmmm. I think I like fearlessness better than risk. FEARLESSNESS. Well that is one of the things I will be working on in the coming months. And of course to get a puppy, and lose the customary 15 pounds lol.

Birds of a feather...do they really flock together?

Man....I'm wondering if it's possible to remain an "individual" outside of the people you involve yourself with in relationships.....in friendships.....associations......interactions...

Too many times I have been in a situation where someone or some people assumed that another person's characteristics, opinions, work ethic, beliefs were my own because I was friends with said person/people, or in a relationship with said person/people.

Granted, individuals tend to hang out with people that are like minded to a certain degree, but I don't think that a group of people you hang out with, or a person you happen to be in a relationship with changes your identity, or sense of self, or should affect the work/friendships/interactions you have with other people.

That's just my opinion though. Naturally people tend to work off of assumptions or pre-judge you, or use stereotypes when they don't have a lot of information about you, or don't know you personally. Which is understandable, it's human instinct to do so, but it's also a form of cognitive distortion and should be realized as such.

I don't know how a person would mediate something like this (currently trying to figure that out now) but I would hope that people wouldn't judge a book by its cover or let other people's actions sway or influence what they think of you. I know I don't feel to good when people make incorrect assumptions about me based on other people. What I do is what I do, regardless of who I choose to involve myself with. 

The lessons we learn in life....I think i feel Kanye's pain. No matter how hard you try to surpass the standards of others, to be that lonely individual, it's a hard task. You still get put in a box or associated with a "group", and people still talk shit about you. It's a never-ending vicious cycle.

*sigh*

So...here I am....again with a blog.....i used to have a blog for a narrative journalism class i had my senior year of undergrad. never really liked it as much as i would have thought, to invest the time necessary to maintain such things BUT here i am...have had a budding interest in blogging for some weeks now...just lacking the motivation to take initiative to make such a thing happen BUT here i am....

bloggers are cool right? i'm pretty cool if i do say so myself...many could benefit from my life experiences blah blah but i doubt that is the form that this blog will take. thinking of it now (and yes, its quite subjective) i will probably just blog about things i am interested in, or fascinated by (hence the blog page title lol). i suppose if ppl read this blog its cool, i suppose if they don't its cool anyway.....

anyway here i am. rather here i go....